Jacques Cousteau is a Badass

from The Cat Who Saw God by Nate Gerry

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Cousteau was in a near fatal car crash
And only broke his arms
So he quit the Navy and
Co-built the aqua-lung
Aqua-lung, you knows?
It helps people breathe underwater
He also invented a little submarine
And fancy underwater cameras

Jacques Cousteau is a badass
Badass is Jacques Cousteau
Jacques Cousteau is a badass
And everybody should know

During World War 2, Cousteau was an officer
In the French Resistance
He kicked Nazi ass so well in fact he was awarded a Legion of Honor
A medal for his espionage work - Cousteau was basically James Bond
I bet he seduced Hitler's wife
Then took out the fuhrer himself

Jacques Cousteau is a badass
Badass is Jacques Cousteau
Jacques Cousteau is a badass
And everybody should know

At the Cannes International Film Festival
Cousteau premiered his movie about himself
It won the coveted Palm d'Or award
Then he won 1 of his 3 Oscars
Cousteau founded a nonprofit to save the creatures of the sea
Cousteau has done more for the ocean that just about anybody

Jacques Cousteau is a badass
Badass is Jacques Cousteau
Jacques Cousteau is a badass
And everybody should know